The shadow

Have been staring in blank these few days, thinking about life. Like how to be a better person or great person, something sounds pretty irony that is coming out from me, but it's true. I always perceived myself as someone heartless (to be really honest), and someone who is super-rational.

Recently, a few people have mentioned that they wanna be like me, or telling me that they are pretty impressed with me since I am only 21 and started looking at the big picture. But, this left me wondering, what's so special about me, that makes them want to be like me? What character that they're impressed and like to have?

 I feel that I'm rude to a certain extent like I never know how to be more polite in those situations that I should be.  I never know how to have the motivation to begin doing things even I really have the passion. Or perhaps, my best excuse for my laziness, is that I'm rather busy, so I can just stay home and sleep. Why would anyone want to be like someone who never even figure out what makes them so cool?

Giving it some thoughts these days, observing myself more than other times, and giving a little more praises to myself on work that I feel I had done well. Then I realised all those milestones that I have built up, it might not be as good as others, but it's my own achievement. There is no need to always compare with others, as of how Asian parents would, causing us to think that we're never good enough, as we looked at how successful others are.

But having someone to look up to, it's always good, as we grow to become a better person. To be someone we longed to aim for, but we should always retain the good in us, and change those negative ones. Being so much more human these days, after my exam has over and being more in-charge of my work, and stormy days too shall pass.